Wednesday

Well, Wednesday has come and gone.  I awoke with nerves galore and what felt like millions of butterflies fluttering around in my stomach.  Our consultation with our doctor was at 10 a.m. and I couldn't keep my anxiety at bay.  We arrived right on time and waited about a half hour to see our doctor (so annoying).  But, the time finally came for us to take our seats in her daunting office and the second she opened her mouth to speak to us, the butterflies instantly fluttered out of my body.  I'll start my re-cap with this - she has hope for us... a lot of hope.

We went over a lot of things.  We pretty much reviewed each and every one of the steps we've taken thus far in our journey.  We discussed day three vs. day five transfers, the possibility of next time (yes, we are still going to subject ourselves to more cycles of IVF!) pressing our luck and waiting until day five - but ultimately it was decided that there would really be no advantage to this (although, until I have a day five transfer, I will probably always wonder about this... unless of course, I become pregnant after a day three transfer!).  We also talked about what might be happening to my really good looking embryos once they're transferred into my uterus - do they even make it to day five?  Is the issue really with my eggs, or are we now talking about another issue with my uterus?  To look further into a possible issue with my uterus, I will be having a couple of tests/procedures done so that my doctor can get a better look at my endometrium lining (which has always looked okay on ultrasound) and also my uterus, to confirm that there isn't any sort of inflammation or scarring that may cause an embryo (or two, or three, or in my case... seven!)  not to implant.

As mentioned above though, we will be doing another cycle of IVF with my own eggs.  I was worried, prior to our meeting, that my doctor's tune may have changed at this point, what with having three failed IVF's and all... but it most certainly has not!  She, again, seems to have more hope than I do.  She told us that while donor eggs are an option that will always be there for us, she really sees no reason why I wouldn't have a chance of becoming pregnant with my own eggs in any given month with or without IVF.  She believes that it's a matter of just being able to know when - none of us has that magical crystal ball - so that's the hard (perhaps hardest) part in all of this.  IVF gives us a slightly better chance because we end up with (in my case) a couple more eggs to work with in a cycle. 

So... we reviewed all of the protocols that I've been on in the past, and we agreed that my body responds best to the Antagonist type of protocol.  I've been on two different types of the Antagonist protocol and in these two cycles, we ended up with our best looking/graded embryos, so, we'll most likely stick to this type of protocol for my future cycle(s).  Since I'm already too far into my current cycle and because we want to get the uterine/endometrium procedures/tests done this month, we won't start our next IVF until my next cycle.

In addition to all of the above, we also spoke a little about other natural "remedies".  While I'm still doing acupuncture twice a week, I am no longer taking herbs (it is not recommended (by my acupuncturist nor by my doctor) to take herbs while also taking infertility medications during a cycle).  That said, my doctor did tell me that I could feel free to take 50 mg. of DHEA and 50 mg. of Co-Q 10 up until retrieval.  DHEA is a male hormone (so weird) and there are some thoughts that it can help with the quality of follicles, eggs and embryos.  Co-Q 10 is an antioxidant supplement/vitamin and there are also some thoughts that this too, can help with the quality of follicles, eggs and embryos.  My doctor isn't convinced that this is true for either of these supplements however, she assured me that she would have no problem with me giving it a try (since Wednesday, I've been taking my pre natal vitamin (how annoying - I've been taking this one for two years now), DHEA and Co-Q 10 supplements - I will try anything!).

We have hope again and for that we are truly thankful.  We have been blessed with a doctor who really believes that we will have a baby of our own.  A doctor who is full of so much knowledge and intelligence, who doesn't give it to us lightly, who is frank and to the point - but most importantly, a doctor who wants this for us as much as we want it for ourselves.  We are blessed.