Friday, February 1, 2013

Quick FET Update

Frozen embryo transfer... wow!  What a difference from a fresh cycle!  It's almost hard to believe that I'm not at my doctor's office half naked every other day.  And in a really crazy way, I hate it!  Not that I overly enjoy my rather personal and frequent doctor's appointments during fresh cycles... but it's nice in a way because it's comforting knowing that I'm being so carefully and closely monitored.  So far this cycle, I've only had two blood draws to test my estrogen levels (which I guess look fine).  That's it!  I had been taking 2 mg. of Estrace, which was upped to 4 mg. on Wednesday.  Tomorrow, I'll add a third pill, totaling 6 mg.  I go back to the doctor for another blood draw on Monday.  I'm expecting that I'll be instructed to add the, always dreaded, PIO bum injections the following week.  I'm beginning to worry about my embryos making it to thaw, as this is obviously a huge step in a frozen cycle.  As I worry about everything that could go wrong, I'm praying for strength and a whole heck of a lot of hope and faith.

I feel very distant from this cycle as compared to my other four IVF cycles (all of which were fresh cycles)  in the past.  Perhaps it's the lack of monitoring, or maybe it's the fact that I'm losing some of my hope.  I've only ever received bad news, negative pee sticks and negative BETA's.  I want to protect myself this time.  I literally want to shield myself from the hurt and the pain that seems to only gets worse with every failed cycle.  I want to be able to move on to the next step if this FET doesn't work.  I want to be able to pick myself up and move forward.  I don't want to grieve... again.  I don't want to cry uncontrollably for days... again.  I don't want to go through any of this... again. 

But, I want my baby.  I want to make Nick a Daddy.  I want to be a Mommy.  Belle really wants to be a big sister (seriously, we talk about this a lot... and yes, I know, I'm crazy).  I want this to end.  I want to beat infertility.

8 comments:

Amanda Greavu said...

Gosh, yea, I can see what you mean.I had no idea you where so far along in the FET. I guess there is just so much less to do. But maybe this is a good thing Aubrey. Maybe your body will be so much less exhausted that it will be better prepared to accept your little one.

I know about a fraction of the info you do about IVF/FET's but, FET's are statistically more successful, right? There has to be a reason. Don't give up hope Aubrey!

nogoodeggs said...

I second Amanda! It may feel strange to not have new meds added to your schedule every day, but that is a good thing! When you get to the FET your body will not be as stressed out by the drugs and retrieval as it has been in your previous cycles! Hopefully that will be just the ticket for you!

I totally understand how yu feel about feeling distant from the cycle though. That is weird for em too. My DE cycle is pretty much exactly like your FET cycle. In fact, I only go to the clinic once before the transfer! I will have my lining checked and that is it! So I get how you feel distanced or unattached from the cycle - that is how I feel too. Liek is this really happening!? I am not doing anything but popping a pill here and there!

Do you have a transfer date? I am hopeful for you!

Aubrey said...

Thanks ladies :)

Kimberly - no exact transfer date yet. I'm guessing it will be some time mid-February (though,I'm always wrong when I guess anything about my cycle, so we'll see!). My doctor says they typically are scheduled around CD 21 (is that similar to what your doctor says?).

dspence said...

Hoping for you!

Sarah Ish said...

I wonder if your RE would ever recommend suppository over the shots? These were so dreadful, particularly to my husband, who had to operate the needle-_- Wishing this being our year!

Amy said...

I'm also about to start out last FET - we have one embaby left. This is it for us and I can't even tell you how scared I am.
FETs are SO different than fresh cycles. Far less involved.
It looks like your transfer will be just before mine.
I hope, with everything in me, that this is it for both of us!

Christen said...

I'm saying an extra prayer for you!!

Sally said...

Thinking of you & hoping for you!!!!! <3

 
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