Thursday, March 21, 2013

It just has to be said

If you know someone who...

has struggled with infertility for 2+ years...

has had three failed IUI's...

has had four failed IVF's...

has had one failed FET...

is grasping at straws...

finally decided to travel half way across the country to be seen by one of the nation's best Reproductive Endocrinologists...

is willing to empty her savings account and take out a hefty loan for only a 25% chance of success...

wants a baby... more than anything in the whole entire world...

...Then don't tell that person to just relax.

Please. 

Just don't.

17 comments:

Suzanne @ Our Journey to a Baby Bump said...

Did you punch said person?! I may have. That said, unless you are walking in our shoes, people have no clue what this is like and say the most ridiculous insensitive things because they don't know any better. So while I do from time to time let the image of me taking such people down in my head, I typically just smile and nod and rant about it later to the ladies that get it.

Relaxing. The miracle cure to infertility. Who knew?! ;)

dspence said...

Oh NO!! I can't believe someone would say that to you guys this far into the game. Congrats on your restraint! (I'm assuming, otherwise you'd be in jail right now...)

Erika said...

TELL ME WHO IT WAS and I'll take care of that problem. Trust me. I Zumba. And there's a punching bag in my garage. Pretty sure this qualifies me for Mafia-level 'problem handling.' OMG PEOPLE ARE STUPID.

Mel said...

Couldn't agree wit you more Aubrey! The things people say are so frustrating. I still get frustrated at times with peoples comments.

Darcy Kristy said...

Nooooo!!! That's so wrong! That "suggestion" makes my skin boil. I get that people just dont know what to say. That , unless they've struggled, all they see is us as "stressing too much," "trying too hard" for ssomething that they got by what they think was just relaxing. But in reality, they are just normal, fertile, lucky, average. We infertiles, on the other hand, are not normal. We have issues and issues to deal with. Sadly, most people don't get that and they never will if IF continues to be taboo like it is now.

I want to do physical harm to people when they say this crap. I want to yell obsenities at them

Emily said...

NO THEY DIDN'T! I am so sorry. Some people are so f'ing ignorant!

Lya said...

Seriously? I'm sorry! Wish I could punch this person for you.

Sally said...

Hey Aubrey, catching up on the last few days.....still thinking of you and hoping hoping HOPING!!! the very best for you!!!

Ashley said...

No!!!! Some people just don't get it!! They are ignorant and naive!! Ignore them!!

the blogivers said...

This is what you say in response: Can you just relax your face? Just want to make sure it's in prime condition before I PUNCH IT.

nogoodeggs said...

blah. i hate people somedays. all people, especially fertile ones. and insensitive ones. the fertile, ignorant, insensitives are the worst.

JoJo said...

HA! I'm not sure how you held the restraint from punch that person in the face. I tend to blow up when people tell me to relax and surprisingly they never try to give me their opinion anymore.

Aramis said...

Give me their address. Mob justice is surprisingly effective.

Sarah Ish said...

I guess the worst thing a dear friend ever said to me was:" we'll maybe it's not meant to be..." That, seriously, stoke a nerve.:(

Bren said...

Amen to that! If I had a nickel for every time someone told me to relax, I could afford 3 surrogates by now!

Amy said...

My mum suggested I should quit my job as stress was not helping. I calmly explained that telling me to relax was making me the most stressed I have been! I also wondered if she realized how much IVF costs! I wish everyone understood what it is like. I am really praying for your next cycle and sending you love from Australia x

Amber said...

Aww, the advice of ignorant fertiles.

 
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