Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day

I don't really have it in me to write a post about how I feel today, on this Mother's Day (I'm emotionally exhausted from attending a wedding last night and learning that yet another friend is pregnant... with baby #2).  I will say, though, that it doesn't feel good- celebrating a day for those who have everything and the.only.thing that I want and so long for.  My heart aches.  It aches for me and for everyone else out there who has an empty heart and empty arms today.  And the truth is, I'm not sure, however my journey with infertility ends, that I will ever be able to fully appreciate Mother's Day.  Right now, I feel like this day will forever be tainted.  This day may forever come with a lot of sadness.  And  I know it will always hold very, very painful memories.
Funny Mother's Day Ecard: Peace and comfort on Mother's Day to all of us who are only mothers in our hearts.

But that said, Mother's Day will also hold a lot of happiness and good memories.  I will forever give thanks and gratitude to my mother, who has become one of my best friends, on this day.  

Mom- I hope it goes without saying how much I love and appreciate you.  Your care, love, support and understanding sometimes blows me away.  I am so thankful for our relationship.  I don't know how I would have made it though my thirty years of life without you.  Especially during the past two years, as I've navigated my way through infertility.  I know you are always there for me.  That you hold a lot of hurt for me (hurt for you, too) and that you would do anything in this world to make all of this go away for me if you could.  I love you more than words could ever say.  Thank you, thank you, thank you... for everything and more. xoxoxo, Aubrey Blair

15 comments:

Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples said...

I'm so sorry for your pain on this day. I hope that you someday soon have a baby in your arms and look forward to mother's day.

Beautiful pictures of you and your mother! So happy that you are so close to your mom and that she's been your big supporter through this rough journey.

Mary said...

Oh my beautiful, loving and caring daughter. You have brought so much joy to my life. My life has been so blessed having such a wonderful daughter.
My heart aches for you today as I know how hard today is for you. Know my arms are wrapped around you with love and support.
My wish for you is that the ache you feel today be filled with your miracle baby in your arms soon.
I couldn't love you or be more proud of you!
Praying, loving and supporting you today and every day.
I love you with all my heart,
Mom. 142

Mary said...

143

Christen said...

Thinking of you especially on this day and sending out love and thoughts. There are no words for what you and your hubby have/ are going through; just know that we are all praying for you guys.

JoJo said...

Oh hun I am sorry for the pain your (we) are going through. It's so hard to picture us finally having a joyous day on this painful day. But we will! I know we will achieve the one thing we crave and long for. My heart goes out to all us still struggling.

the blogivers said...

She sounds like a great mama - glad you have each other :)

Gypsy Mama said...

Very well said! I agree, this day will always be tainted for me too. I look at people who never had to struggle with trying to conceive, and although I envy them I also appreciate the wisdom I gained out of all this heartache.

Your mother-daughter pics are so pretty!

Melissa said...

Aw! I love those pics of you & your mom. So sweet! You are a beautiful bride!

This morning on my way to church I prayed for you, for Erika, for myself & a few others that i know are going through infertility. And some i know who went through miscarriages recently. Praying that God gives us comfort & peace beyond what we can understand. {HUGS}

Aramis said...

Hugs. That's all.

kharini said...

Beautiful pictures of you and your mom! It's been such a hard day for me too... hopefully one day it won't be.

Well-intentioned said...

I understand. This was the first year that my thought process went from totally about my mother to thinking about my own failures to reach motherhood. A tough day.

dspence said...

What a beautiful sentiment to express for your own mother and your special relationship with her. Love the pics! Praying for you.

Laura said...

I'm so glad Mother's Day has come and gone, what a rough day for some of us!

I am so glad that your mom has been so supportive and incredible throughout your life, that's the one nice thing about Mother's Day still, we get to honor our amazing mothers!

nogoodeggs said...

great pic of you and your mom. I feel the same way - my mom and I have become closer as she has supported me through IVF. I like your ee card - sums it up so well! thanks for sharing!

Amber said...

Beautiful, beautiful pics of you and you Mom. Mother's Day has passed now, but I still offer you a great big, virtual hug.

 
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