Tuesday, May 7, 2013

I kid you not

Yesterday, I was at a client meeting for work and there was a lot of down time.  My client and I chatted about what we each did over the weekend and the following conversation ensued:

Client:  My friend separated from her husband over the weekend.  It's so sad.  Thankfully, they didn't have any children, though.  In fact, that could be what caused their separation.

Me:  Really?  That's so sad... (already annoyed.  Really, lady?!).

Client:  Yeah, I had another friend who tried for a long time to get pregnant.  She ended up getting divorced and then got cancer and she died from all that IVF stuff.

I kid you not.  She really said "from all that IVF stuff".  First of all, she's clearly an idiot.  And second of all, it took all I had in me not to slap her across the face and then run out of there.  I mean... the nerve of some people!  I will just never understand how some people don't think before they speak.  This woman has no idea about my infertility or the fact that I've been on loads of hormones from my four fresh and one frozen IVF cycles, but still...  think lady.  Just think.  And then, once you've thought about what you're going to say and if you still want to sound like an a-hole, maybe make sure what you're saying is even correct before blurting it out!

Ugh.

My re-group with my doctor at CCRM is tomorrow.  I'm nervous, excited, frustrated, scared, anxious and ready.  I'm so ready... to know more and to learn more.

Oh, and Mother's Day... it's Sunday.  Blah.  Tear.  I'm sure I'll have more to say on this at some point, but right now I think I'm so focused on trying to forget that Sunday is even coming that I've blocked it from my mind completely.

Oh, infertility... you've crippled me today :(

23 comments:

Well-intentioned said...

So sorry to hear that Aubrey. It really is amazing what people will say "in passing". I'm like you and just bite my tongue...especially with a client...what other choice is there?

the blogivers said...

Just like I commented on Erika's post this morning: I hope the rest of this week goes by quickly and painlessly for you!!

dspence said...

Oh my GOSH! Some people! Very impressed that you were able to keep your cool.

Lya said...

You SHOULD have punched her!

FX for tomorrow's apt! Hope all goes well!!!

Laura said...

WOW! Was this woman raised by wolves?!? That is so wrong on so many levels, she has no business saying this kind of stuff to anyone.anywhere. I'm SOOO sorry that you had to sit through that. You're a far bigger person than I am, I probably would have gone off on her!

Good luck with your re-group tomorrow, I'll be sending positive vibes your way!! :)

Melissa said...

That is HORRIBLE!! Omg. I am so so sorry. People say the stupidest things. I would love to see the look on her face if she realized what you've been through! I mean, gah!

:(

Erika said...

OMG!!!!! IVF killed her? Who knew??!!? Like Laura said- was she raised by wolves??! At least she has the social skills of them. Sheesh. Props to you for not punching her OR pointedly informing her that you've done IVF 5 times and are prepping for your 6th and are still alive SO THERE! And then punching her. I feel like punching her is really called for in this situation. We may not have kids, but we have a mean right hook, right??

Ashley said...

That's horrible!! Some people are soo dumb!! People think the world only works one way and are selfish!! Hang in there Hun!! Good luck tomorrow!!!

JJ said...

Ugh...people! Sadly, I think the whole Guiliana Rancek (?) breast cancer after rounds of IVF thing has put these ideas in people's minds. It truly is amazing what comes out of people's mouths. Often I've wanted to reply back to comments like these stating something about my own journey and infertility, but I'm not generally that on my toes with comebacks when taken off guard. Good for you for being the bigger person in the conversation. I hope things go wonderfully for your follow-up conversation tomorrow and that you get some answers and formulate a plan. I'll be thinking about you!

kharini said...

Pure ignorance!

JenS said...

wow. Clueless.

FaithTrust IcsiDust said...

Wow wow wow! Whatignorance. I am sorry you had to put up with that today. People honestly have no idea about anything. You have to wonder how they get through everyday life! Well done on not slapping her though. That would have taken strength!

Bren said...

Ugh, the nerve of that lady! I know she said her "friend" separated from her husband, but I kind of think it was her, not her friend. And I think her husband ran away from her. I could see why :)

Aramis said...

That is just awesome in its idiocy. I can't believe some people.

Sally said...

WHAT?!! the....

I think that's all I can say to that...

Thinking GREAT thoughts for you for the rest of the week--tmrw for your CCRM info esp!! xo

Emily said...

What an ignorant thing to say. Ugh.

I know what I won't be doing on Sunday....going on facebook or going out for brunch. You won't be the only non-mom on mother's day girlie. I'll be here with ya!

Best of luck with your re-group at CCRM. Can't wait to hear how it went. :)

JoJo said...

Oh peoples ignorance! She should really think before she speaks.

That dreaded day is here again. The moment you wish u had something to celebrate about.

Suzanne said...

Wow. The restraint you showed that woman is amazing. She clearly deserved your fist into her face. I'm sorry that this got you down.

Good luck with the re-group. Can't wait to hear what's next!

Mel said...

I can't believe people. How rude!!!!

Sorry you had to sit through all of that. I can only imagine how hard it was.

Praying for you today as you have your regroup.

xxoo

Sarah said...

People never cease to amaze me. She probably thinks you can get cancer and die from taking a shower. Or doing laundry. Ugh... so annoying.

Melanie said...

Happy Mother's Day to all of you who are celebrating the day empty handed due to a loss or because your child has yet to make it to your arms. You are just as much a mother as the woman who has 12 kids tagging along after her. You are a mother in your heart, you go through the pain of treatments and negatives, but you are already a mother putting forth more as a mother to bring your children here, than so many others. Babyloss moms, you have endured the most tragic and important job a mother could ever do for her child. Sending them off from this life with love and honor and respect. Being strong and keeping their memory alive. Doing this while grieving and heartbroken in a society who minimizes the greatest effort a mother could possibly do.... letting go. It's a shame that Mother's Day is the way it is, alienating and separating women, rewarding some, degrading and ignoring others due to things they have no control over. If anything, Mother's Day should lift up those who are Mother's in their heart but not in their hands because ultimately, the mother's getting all the praise and fluff HAVE their greatest gift already, their children. And now that I have experienced Mother's Days as an infertile, a baby loss momma, and as a mother of living children, I can say that the difficulties of raising children-the exhaustion, the sacrifices, the worry, etc. is NOTHING compared to the lifelong grief I carry for the child who cannot be with me. Happy Mother's Day to you all. XOXO

Christen said...

Some people just need to be punched in the face. That woman is one of them!!

Amber said...

Some people are just so incredibly ignorant. You for sure could have told her off. I'm impressed with your strength. Hang in there girl.

 
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