Monday, January 7, 2013

Weekending

This weekend...
** We had an impromptu candle lit dinner on Friday night... complete with cheese and crackers for appetizers. I'm such a domestic diva, huh?! ** Belle was in the mood for lots of belly rubs. ** I watched Something Borrowed, for the umpteenth time (good movie, fantastic book) and enjoyed a bowl of kettle corn. ** I watched the movie while wearing my shirt that Nick tells me looks like it's from Gap Kids.  Hey, if you can't have kids (*yet), you might as well dress like them, eh?! ** Belle begged for food. ** I made Sally's delicious cake batter chocolate chip cookies.  Yum (I'm a sucker for anything cake batter!). ** I played two games of cribbage and lost both.  Sad. ** Belle begged for more food. **

As you can see, my weekend was pretty uneventful.  Mostly because my husband came down with some sort of nasty illness, so naturally, I put my nurse's cap on and didn't do much other than make tea, make tea and oh!  make more tea.  It was actually nice though... not that I wanted Nick to be sick, but we vegged and slept and just relaxed - we had no where to go and nothing to do. 

Last night, we retired to bed early and while we were watching Love Actually (another fantastic movie!) (also, another one of my favorite things about Nick is that he'll gladly watch any rom-com/"chick flick" movie with me... without complaint!), Nick turned to me and said "this sucks."  I just knew he wasn't talking about him not feeling well, but rather, infertility.  My hunch was confirmed when he followed "this sucks" up with "it just shouldn't be this hard".  See, I'm normally the one to go on, and on, and on, and on, and on about how unfair all of this is... how infertility has stolen so much from me... from us... but, when Nick mentions how shitty this all is, I know it really is... because he doesn't complain, ever, about anything.  He takes everything as it comes to him.  So, even though I know that infertility is the worst, even though I know all of this sucks... badly... it just hurts my heart that much more knowing that my stupid eggs are causing him pain as well.  Because he's right, this sucks... it shouldn't be this hard!

3 comments:

nogoodeggs said...

Glad you had an uneventful weekend (other than the hubs being sick) - those are the best sometimes! Does your hubby usually vocalize his emotions about everything? Mine rarely does. I would say he has cried a few times and mostly just worries about me and how he is going to support me. I dont think he is necessarily holding it in, he just process more internally. Guys are different...

Christen said...

I know what you mean about seeing your hubby sad breaking your heart. Mine is great at dealing with me and rarely shows his emotions, but he finally was tearing up about it on New Year's Day (the first time since I miscarried a while ago). It is heart-wrenching... and you're right, it shouldn't be this hard. It sounds like you have a great guy to really "get" what all this is like.

Christen said...

Side note and totally unrelated: I LOVE Emily Giffin and all her books too! She's consistently such a good writer and so uplifting. Something Blue is one of my favorites (I love Something Borrowed too)

 
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