Monday, March 23, 2015

An Update

After almost three months since my last post, I really don't even know how, or where to begin... Many of you have reached out asking me for an update, and I feel so guilty that I've been so absent.  I still struggle with blogging, and whether or not I want to continue with it at all.  Every time I think about sharing a final post, something stops me.  So, as I work to figure out where I'm headed as a blogger, here's an update:

First things first.  I'm still pregnant.  In fact, I'm 23 weeks pregnant as of Monday!  I still wake up every day and go to bed every night in complete astonishment.  I still feel like a medical mystery.  It makes no sense.  The only answer is God.  Wow, is He good!  For those of you who are not in touch with me on social media, you wouldn't know that Baby #3 is a GIRL (!!!).  And, so far, she is as healthy as can be, Praise the Lord!  I have been being seen by an MFM at a local hospital, who has been following me for the K cell antibody issue that I last posted about.  We believe, at this point, that the baby is not kell positive, based on my monthly blood draws to test for my titer levels (the last two months my titers were undetected).  I will continue to be monitored, and with that, will continue to say lots of prayers.  I've just started to feel this little ones' kicks and I truly love every single thing about them - I have a feeling she is going to be a feisty little girl!  A lot of people have asked me how it feels to be pregnant with one baby this time, compared to how it felt to be pregnant with two.  Honestly - I don't really feel much of a difference.  If you can believe it, I look just as big this time (maybe even bigger), and have felt just as sick, tired, and worn out.  I often think to myself that, for me, the saying is true that baby girls steal their mamas' beauty.  Ha!  Oh!  And for those who might be wondering, baby girl has a name....

Finley Faith
 
Now on to the two sweetest little boys who made me a Mommy.  My little guys are 9.5 months old!  It's unbelievable how much they've grown.  They are truly, the most amazing little people I've ever known.  Raising two babies at once is.... interesting.  It's hard, that's for sure - but it's so fun to see their interactions.  I swear my guys only interact when we're not watching them.  That's when they giggle and laugh at one another, and it just melts my whole entire heart.  I can't wait to see their relationship grow as they do.  My boys make me question myself every.single.day.  I often wonder if I'm a good mom?  Am I doing the right things?  Could I do better for them?  Could I BE better for them?  Life has been complete chaos the past few months: moving from one state to another, living with my parents, returning to work full-time, finding out I'm pregnant again, moving into our new house.... Throughout all of that, my little guys have done remarkably well.  They're quite attached to me - and I have to admit I secretly love it!  We have just introduced a nanny into their lives, who will begin watching them three days a week in May.  Then beginning in June, just before their first birthday, they will head off to daycare two days a week (we are trying to lessen Papa Tank's load as he has so graciously offered to watch Finley for us when I return back to work in the Fall from maternity leave) (yes, I'm going back to work after baby #3.  No I'm not entirely thrilled about it, but it is what it is.  At least this time I know it's actually doable.  I suppose.).  It's been interesting seeing the boys with someone else.  They haven't been exposed to many people, given that I work from home and my dad has been watching them for us.  Though they can be a little timid at first, they're quite the flirts.  I may be in big trouble come their high school years!

As for me.... life is crazy.  But, it's wonderful.  It's a life that I so wanted and said many prayers for over the course of many years.  But it's truly beyond my wildest dreams.  I still have difficulty finding time for showers, or to even run out to the grocery store.  I find myself headed to bed within minutes of putting the boys down for the night at 7 p.m.  I can't remember the last time Nick and I sat down for dinner together.  Most days I wear no make-up, work in my pajamas, and have bags under my eyes so dark that it looks like I got punched in the face while I was sleeping.  Sometimes Austin looks at me in astonishment and wonder on the days that I actually do wear make-up, almost as if he can't understand why I look different on those days- ha!  Oh, and I even found a few gray hairs on my head last week (time to go back to blonde?!).  Though the days can be long, the months are flying by at lightning speed.  I try to grab ahold of each moment that I can with my two little babies who are soon to be big brothers.  My family and I often remark how just a year and a half ago, none of us could have imagined this.... I am, without a doubt, one of the luckiest mamas in the entire world.  How did it happen?!  I'll never know....
 
So, with that, I'll sign off here.... hoping to be back sooner than another three months passes.  If not, though, know that I'm following and reading along in each of your journeys, praying and cheering all of you on.  I love you all for sticking around, YOU are my reason for not letting this little space of mine go away just yet.

32 comments:

Sally said...

Loved to read this update!! Missed you!! So very happy for you and your family. What a lucky little girl Finley will be to have two big bros watching out for her too :)) LOVE all of their names :)) xoxo

Suzanne said...

This post makes my heart soar. You are indeed a very lucky mama...and so are those babies to have you. So so happy for you and love reading this update! xoxo

Amie said...

Oh they are so incredibly cute!!! Too much cuteness!! Since I quit high lighting my hair (and went brunette) I have been seeing all of the gray too..eek! I am trying to figure out at what point it would be ok to add high lights again.

It sounds like you are a wonderful momma!

JoJo said...

What a nice update! Extremely happy things are going well with you and baby girl as well as the twins. Well I must say I disagree on girls steal mom's beauty because my little man has me looking like a teenage hormonal acne person. Lol! I'm super happy you got your baby girl. I bet she will look just like her momma.

Lisa said...

I am so relieved to hear that your baby GIRL(!) seems to be unaffected by the whole kell antibody issue. I can't believe you're already 23 weeks along! Oh, and I find it so interesting that almost every single urban legend pregnancy I can think of (including my own) turned out to be a girl. Congrats mama!

Heidi said...

They are such dolls! What adorable little boys you have! Congratulations on your little girl! So exciting!

Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples said...

It makes me so happy when I see a blog post from you. So glad baby girl Finley is healthy. your boys are getting so big and are as handsome as ever!

Aramis said...

Such handsome boys! And now a girl on the way to round out your family, how perfect is that? You've got a ton going on, but it's great to have an update from you!

Aramis said...

Such handsome boys! And now a girl on the way to round out your family, how perfect is that? You've got a ton going on, but it's great to have an update from you!

Anne said...

Oh my goodness! What precious little boys. They are so sweet. So glad to hear a good update regarding the antibody issue. Love, love Finley's name.

I have a 9 month old boy, and he has been super attached lately too. I can't say I haven't enjoyed it a little bit, especially after a long day at work away from him.
All the best to your family!

dspence said...

So glad to see an update and that all is well. Your family is in my prayers daily. <3

Emily said...

So happy to hear from you! I'm glad everything is going well and that life is so good (but crazy!) xoxo

Aislinn said...

What an awesome update, congratulations on little Finley! I'd love to follow you on social media, do you have the links posted somewhere?

DeNae said...

happy, happy, happy tears. You must be exhausted. And happy. And all of the emotions. You are not alone in questioning yourself as a mother, but just look at those gorgeous boys. They are loved and adored and their little sister will be, too! Update when you have a chance since we all love to hear how you are, but we totally understand you need to sleep every chance you can! sleep > blogging!

Amanda said...

Gah! I just love this so much!!!

And Aubrey, working or not, makeup or not, even showered or not, you're the BEST MOM!

Sophie x said...

Perfect update! Your boys are so adorable and I'm sure Finley Faith will be amazing. Can't wait to hear about the next stage! xx

Ashley said...

Love this update!! Daycare will be good for the boys once they settle in!! Love baby girls name!! Soo sweet! I think we need a bump pic!! Haha! So glad everything's going well, even though it is hectic and crazy at times, it is full of love and excitement!!

the blogivers said...

I have been thinking about you and all 3 of your babies lately, wondering what the latest was - thanks for the update! I know life is busy and crazy and overwhelming, but that aside, I'm still so very happy for you :)

rainbeforerainbow said...

Aubrey, they are ADORABLE! I'm so happy for you. Motherhood suits you so well; I'd knew you'd be an amazing mother.

Abby said...

Love her name! And Finley will have 2 awesome big brothers to watch out for her. So happy to get an update!

Sarah said...

Glad to hear everyone is good! Just make sure you post some bump pics once and a while and then I'll expect a full update once FF is here with tons of pics!!!! :)

Erika said...

Ahhhh your boys are THE CUTEST!!! Finley will be lucky to get even a fraction of their good looks!!! That said- no more talk of this quitting blogging thing. I squealed with happiness when I saw you'd posted today!!! So keep it up and show us more cute babies and bumps!

Nikki Miller said...

Love the update!
Those checks, that hair... SO adorable!
Love the name for your little girl.
Working outside the home and raising two little ones AND being pregnant is TOUGH. No matter what you choose I think you have a large group that will continue to pray for you and root for you and your family.
You are a PERFECT momma for those three precious little ones.
HUGS!

Ashley Sanderson said...

So happy to see a post!! I know we are friends on Instagram and Facebook, but I like the long version updates ;) Praying for sweet Finley! Such a sweet story that I pray and hope God will do in our lives as well. Fertility is hard and I love how God has used your story of faith and obedience to give hope to others who are struggling! :) So glad that we have become friends through our struggle. :)

Gypsy Mama said...

So happy to see an update from you! Your boys are sooo cute! I love your girl's name, so happy for you!

How amazing of papa tank to help out this much. you are so lucky to have family around who is willing and able.

I hope you blog again soon. Post a bump pic !

shay said...

So glad to hear from you and "catch up". Keeping up with blogging is hard when you're a momma, pregnant and working full time but I hope you stick around!

Amy said...

Oh my your boys are absolutely adorable! I have been thinking of you and am SO thrilled to hear all is ok AND you are having a little girl. Life with one baby is crazy enough for me so to think you will have three makes me amazed- you are incredible! Well done!! Xoox

Stephanie said...

I am SO excited that you are having a GIRL!!! YAY!

Your boys are just so handsome!

I am sure you are the best momma!!!

JenS said...

How adorable are they?!? I have tried in vain to capture my girls interacting and giggling. Of course, they stop the second I bring out the camera. It is so fun to watch, though. Until someone starts hitting or biting. Then it's not so fun anymore ;)
Congrats on baby girl! So glad to get an update from you.

Amber said...

Aubrey, you make my heart smile so much! It truly is astonishing how much life can change in such a short time period. Finley Faith is a beautiful name. Those boys are going to be such great big brothers! Thank you for the update. Even if they only come once every 3 months, it's still good to hear from you!

Melissa said...

Your boys are SO HANDSOME!!! And congrats on a baby GIRL! :) I love her name. Love it!!Please don't quit blogging, but if you do i'm going to need you to friend me on FB or instagram first! Don't want to lose touch!! I was so excited to see this post! xoxo

A Few Good Eggs said...

Oh, your boys are adorable and congratulations!!! 23 weeks with your little Finley. Such wonderful, unexpected, joyous news. You just never know. I *hated* it when people would say that to me, but it has been true for me twice. The body does crazy things.

So overjoyed for you and your family.

 
Site Design By Designer Blogs