I just watched the season finale of Giuliana and Bill (a few weeks late) and as I sit here in tears, I'm reminded of my journey... and specifically, my journey of cycling at CCRM (all while I listen to my two miracle babies cooing in the pack n' play next to me... And that makes me cry even more!). In this episode, G & B learned that, while everything went perfectly, their Gestational Carrier is not pregnant. Their single embryo transfer did not work. Cue the biggest lump in my throat. You might be asking yourself, why is she so emotional over these celebrities who already have a miracle baby from a prior cycle?... Well, it's because this episode reminded me, in an instant, just how differently my story could have played out.
I know the feeling of receiving that dreaded call. The call where the doctor is on the other end of the line telling you that you're not pregnant. That you won't be having a baby in 9 months. That, yet again, you will cry yourself to sleep, grieve, feel more anger than you knew ever existed deep within your soul. I experienced seven of those calls before receiving the call that would forever change my life. I still don't know how I had the strength to keep fighting. To keep working toward what would become my sweet Austin and my sweet Camden. Where did that strength come from? How did I put it all on the line over and over and over again? And how do so many of you do that, too?
|CCRM: Retrieval #1|
|CCRM: Retrieval #2|
|CCRM: Post Transfer|
Because of them, I am sitting here, where I am today. I am living my dream. They are my dream: