Monday, May 14, 2012

Next Steps

So, cycle #2 begins tonight!  Well... not technically.  Tonight, I'm just starting the BCP again.  Luckily this time, I'll only be taking it for 11 nights.  I go to the doctor on May 25th for blood and an ultrasound to confirm that I'm suppressed.  From there, I'll be instructed to take Lupron & Follistim both twice a day... that's when cycle #2 really starts!  I'm glad to begin the process again.  Glad because now I feel like I'll be able to work on shifting my mind and emotions from sadness and grief to having hope and faith again (and fear and worry and anxiety...). 

BUT, to help with the fear and the worry and the anxiety, I'm offically a patient of acupuncture.  I had my first appointment last week.  After worrying ALL.DAY.LONG about what I was going to have to wear (seriously, I'm crazy like that!), I think it actually helped me to relax a little.  I definitely felt something.  I had needles in my hands, on the insides of my knees, below my knees, on my feet and then he put one in my forehead and one right in the top of my head.  I also had a heat lamp over my feet.  Then I was left to relax.  Of course when you're trying so hard to relax, you can't.  But then in the midst of trying so hard to relax, I realized that I felt pulsing where the needles were.  I started to fixate on the pulsing and before I knew it, I wasn't asleep, but I was calm and I was breathing very slowly.  I think I believe in acupuncture!  While I'm not sure it will result in a successful IVF cycle, I do think it has the potential to help, even just a little bit with my fears, my worries and my anxiety... even if it's just for the hour that I'm there two times each week.  (oh... and for the record... I didn't have to wear a hospital gown and I was able to keep my clothes on - I just roll my pants up above my knees and take my shoes/socks off... Now I know to definitely just wear yoga pants and a tee shirt next time!).

Praying for a fear-free, worry-free, and anxiety-free 11 days on the BCP as well as another insurance approval for IVF #2 (and selfishly, I'm praying for no more weight gain while on the BCP -my waistline can't take anymore!).

Aubrey Blair

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