Thursday, April 24, 2014

Meet DeNae - National Infertility Awareness Week - Blog Swap

I'm so happy to be participating in Lauren's blog swap in honor of National Infertility Awareness week.  Certainly, this week of awareness is so very close to my heart.  I've been paired with DeNae, who, though she isn't someone who has suffered through infertility herself, the support she lends for those who have is remarkable.  Her post below, brought a tear to my eye because she understands and she wants to help by spreading the word.  Thank you, DeNae!
 
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The Chinese character for woman is supposed to look like a woman with a baby in her lap. In the bible, women are cursed with pain during childbirth. When we meet married women who look to be in their child-bearing years, one of the first questions we ask is if they have kids.

Womanhood is so wrapped up in motherhood. And that seems fine and dandy until we realize that having a baby isn't always easy and, in fact, many couples struggle with infertility. Maybe they talk about it or maybe they say they don't want kids or maybe they hide it behind little jokes, but the pain and the devastation are real.

I have not struggled with infertility. It is one of those big questions. Why are some children born into such horrendous poverty while others will never want for anything? Why is getting pregnant and staying pregnant so easy for some women and so seemingly impossible for others? I have friends who have struggled and friends who continue to struggle. Friends who struggle in silence and sadness. Friends who face the reality of arms that so badly want to hold a baby, raise a family, share their love with children, but can't. I did nothing right and they did nothing wrong, but our paths to parenthood are so very different. I wish it weren't so.

So many women handle it privately. Feel that pain privately. That is one of the reasons I am so thankful for women like Aubrey who share their story and help people realize they are not alone. Who give people hope and erase the stigma, share in the heartache and the pain. Her story is heartbreaking and beautiful and I am so excited for her and her husband as they face this new adventure in parenthood.

Being a mother is such a huge part of who I am. That is easy to see and understand because I am almost always surrounded by four loud and lovable kiddos. But being a mother is also a huge part of many women who don't have kids yet and wonder if they ever will. It is in their heart. Their arms await the gentle heft of a newborn. The cry that means hunger. The first tooth. They ache for it. All of it. 

There is strength in numbers and strength in telling our stories of infertility and motherhood and the beauty of life and the heartache of life and all the in between stuff, too. That's one reason I am so appreciative of the chance to swap blogs with Aubrey today to let more people know about infertility and the real people that are affected by it every day.

Today let's celebrate all the things that make us women. The way we laugh and the love we share and the meals we cook and the stories we tell. Today let's lift up a friend in prayer or give her a hug or take her out for coffee or send her a kind text. Today let's remember that we don't often know the pain people hold inside so let's be gentle. Today let's share knowledge and information and stories about infertility to break the silence and show support. 

Let's start with today. But then let's do it tomorrow and the day after and the day after until it is just a way of life. 

 
You can usually find me blogging over at http://bigloveandepicfail.blogspot.com/
Come on over for a visit.

10 comments:

Sausha said...

Such a beautiful and thoughtful post. It made me tear up. Thank you for sharing!

Sally said...

Love this. What a great message.

DeNae vanWestrienen said...

Thanks so much for the chance to write here, Aubrey. I'm so excited to follow your journey to motherhood and "meet" your beautiful baby boys.

Amanda said...

I love this idea! So fun to swap spaces! Thanks for sharing DaNae!

Melissa said...

Love this so much!! :) Thank you.

lo @ crazy ever after said...

I love. love, love that you hosted Denae on your blog. She is such an amazing writer, and brings such great encouragement to so many.

lo @ crazy ever after said...

PS: I've enjoyed reading your blog and following your pregnancy. I wish I was better at commenting, but I do read every update. You're so deserving of this.

Caroline said...

Love this reminder to be gentle! Love the idea of a blog swap!

shay said...

What a great guest post!

Jerwin Palapuz said...

This is so much inspiring blog. Don't give up when you never get the timing of giving birth.

http://naturalfertilityformula.com/

 
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