Friday, August 23, 2013

What I've Been Up To and 31

I've completely neglected my blog lately, but I have a few reasons... 1.) there's just not much more I can say about infertility and how it makes me feel (pretty darn horrible).  I've hit (yet again) another severe writer's block because of this.  And, while I do have lots of thoughts that enter my mind about infertility, it's just too exhausting and emotional to come and share them all here sometimes.  2.) I've been B-U-S-Y.  Mostly it's been because of my new job.  It's in-sane, people.  Just insane.  I guess on the one hand, being busy with work is a good thing... a good distraction.  But, on the other hand, my new job leaves me in tears almost every night of the week, so that's the not-so-good-at-all part about it...  And 3.) I started my sixth (so sad) IVF cycle.  We leave for Colorado late next week.  I started my lupron injections this morning and already had one cry fest in the car after my barre workout class this morning.  Though, that could have been because it's my birthday today (and my sweet husband's too!), and that just brings upon lots of sadness.  I've never been a big birthday person anyway, but annual celebrations just aren't fun anymore.  And they're not really very happy, either.  Like, not at all. 
So, to divert my attention away from entering my thirty-first year of life sans a baby bump today, I'll share a little of what I've been up to while not blogging! 
We had my sweet niece's second birthday party a few weeks ago.  She referred to herself as a princess the entire day and I loved it.  I kept asking her if she's a big girl now and she would say "Noooo!  I uh princess!".  Adorable.  I might steal her.  Kidding... Kind of.
I've been spending too much money.  Way too much money.  But, after a few really long weeks at work, and tears almost every night for the past... I don't even know how long... a little too much retail therapy is necessary.  Luckily, I have a cute sister to share in the destruction of bank accounts.  I'm a bad influence. 
My new job is focused on pro-active client meetings, so naturally I'm out of the office quite frequently.  But, when I'm not on the road meeting with people, I can work at home.  In fact, working from home is encouraged, which has actually been a little difficult for me to get used to... but do you know what hasn't been difficult to get used to?  Spending more time with my little love.  She's so happy when I'm home all day with her.  She even helped me with my work a couple of weeks ago (I was probably down the hall crying or something, so Belle took over!):
My sister, her boyfriend, and Nick and I got pool memberships this summer at a local marina.  And it has been heavenly (minus the loud kids who frequent the pool and who scream, splash and basically break every rule that the place has!  And the parents of those maniacs are even more annoying!).  
 And lastly, while I don't want to celebrate my own... I had a blast celebrating my mom's birthday with her last weekend.  We spent the morning shopping, the afternoon at the pool and the evening having a great dinner together.  Happy Birthday, again, Mom! 
And that's all... I'm all caught up!  And now I'm off to finish this work week with hopefully no more tears today... And with lots of prayers for good things (actually, just one good thing will do!) to come in my thirty-first (ugh) year!

24 comments:

Sally said...

Happy birthday to you & Nick!! Missed you!! :)))

LOVE your shopping haul! Dang!!

Thinking of you as usual :)) xoxo

Gypsy Mama said...

Sending you lots of prayers for this new cycle.

I'm so sorry you've been feeling down, although it is completely understandable after everything you have been through. I hope this new year brings you all the joy and happiness life has to offer. xo

Amanda said...

I've been pretty crappy about blogging lately too... August has been my lowest total in more than a year. : ( And it's for the same reason... what's left to say about infertility? And the rest of my life outside of infertility is WAY too boring. : ( Moving on!

Remember we're not numbering IVF... this THE IVF cycle... you've got this!

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I'm totally with you in regards to the birthday celebration. I'd be okay if we just skipped it all together... getting older is LAME!

Keep me updated on the plan out at CCRM!

nogoodeggs said...

Happy Birthday to you and Nick! I am sorry you are feeling down. Thsi whole thing sucks. And it really sucks that your job is overwhelming! Do yout think it will just take time to get used to it? Crying every day sounds bad... :-(

Glad you got in some retail therapy and sushi! You deserve it!

the blogivers said...

I'm sorry it's a bittersweet day for you, but I still want to wish you (and Nick) a happy birthday today :) And with all those cute new clothes, you are going to be one stylin' 31 year old!! Hugs and prayers!

Erika said...

Happy birthday!! I've missed you!! I love the spoils of your therapy, though...cute cute!! And according to one of the Loft bags, it looks like you got amazing sales, so that's all that counts, right? Calculate money SAVED, not money spent. I'm pretty sure that's how it works. ;) Prayers for your next CCRM adventures...love you, girl!

Emily said...

Try to have a happy birthday girl. You are busting your ass at work, doing all you can on the baby making front, and you deserve to be kind to yourself. Shop til you drop I say! Wishing you tons of good vibes for next week's trip to CO too! Can't wait to hear how everything goes...if and when you post about it. Take as many breaks from blogging as you need. If you don't feel like writing, don't force it. Just be. :)

bellehavendrive said...

Happy birthday, Aubrey! I'm so sorry work has been insane. Good for you - shopping til you drop! You deserve it, girl. :) I am excited for your next cycle and trip to Colorado! I am praying for you!!!

Suzanne said...

Happiest of birthday's to you and your hubby. They certainly have gotten tougher these past few years as nothing has made me feel older than infertility...but I hope you are able to celebrate a little...at least celebrate each other!!

Safe travels to Colorado. Know that I'm cheering for you so hard over here in the great midwest.

Much love to you. xo

Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples said...

Happy birthday to you and Nick. I'm in the same boat...working like crazy and neglecting the blog. I still can't believe we are missing each other in Denver by a matter of days. So bummed! But I have such high hopes for you my friend. You BFP is coming soon....I'm so hopeful for you. And don't feel bad about shopping...you deserve it.

Team Harries said...

Happy Happy Happy birthday sweet Aubrey! and Happy birthday to Nick too!! Hope you get to do something fun! cute pics by the way :) thinking of you as you gear up for this next ivf!

Emily said...

Happy, Happy Birthday! I know the feeling of not feeling like there's much to celebrate, but I'm hoping that 31 is a wonderful year for you!!!

JoJo said...

Happy birthday!! Wishing you both best wishes on this day! I know u aren't looking fwd to celebrating and I get it. Do what u see fit. Sending you lots of positive vibes for this new cycle.

Darcie K said...

Thinking of you, as you celebrate your birthday. I understand how it's now a bitter reminder. I have a few of those.... but try to enjoy yourself with your sweet hubby.

Also, I'm hoping the very best for you with the upcoming cycle. You will be in my thoughts and prayers for sure.

xoxoxo

Impatiently Waiting said...

I have been in the same boat! I can't seem to write- even though I have all the thoughts; they just seem so hard to get out.

I also spent way too much money last weekend shopping. Shoes, clothes, accessories, and make-up. That felt good. I don't regret it ;-)

I hope that this cycles is the one! I am praying for you, girl!

Happy birthday! To all of you!!

Melissa said...

Girl... i am so sorry birthdays are no fun anymore. Infertility messes up so many things that would otherwise be fun. :( But happy birthday... I hope this year brings more joy than you thought possible.

Crazy that you & Nick share a birthday! :)

YAY for retail therapy! But i am sorry your job leaves you in tears, too! I have had those kinds of jobs. UGH! But i am glad it's busy too... my work is like that too (except on Fridays) & it is definitely a good distraction!

Aramis said...

Happy birthday! I love that pic of your dog at the computer...she looks so serious, all "I'm gonna help out with this, I with I had thumbs". :) I know things are hard and I'm really wishing so much for you with your next cycle. Keep us posted.

Christen said...

You definitely deserve some retail therapy, girl. Happy birthday! I am keeping you in my prayers that your next birthday is much, MUCH more joyous. Thinking of you during this next trial of IVF...

JenS said...

Happy birthday! I am hoping this year brings you good things.
Sorry the new job is so tough. I hope it gets a little easier for you. Crying everyday is certainly not a good thing. I have had those days at work and it sucks.
Wishing you the best of luck as you start this next cycle.

Jennifer T said...

I can relate to not wanting to celebrate, but Happy birthday! Hope your next round of IVF is a success!

shay said...

Happy birthday sweet girl! And don't feel bad about the retail therapy, you totally deserve to treat yourself! We're all here rooting for you! Hugs!

Laura said...

Happy belated Birthday, lovely!! I am so sorry that you've been having such a rough time lately. I sure hope work calms down soon for you, especially with your next cycle underway. I am all about retail therapy, you always look so nice in your photos, there's no doubt that you bought some great stuff! I can't believe you're already gearing up to come back to Denver for your next cycle. I will be thinking about you lots and hoping and praying for some great things!!!

Mel said...

Happy Birthday Aubrey!

Sorry you've had a rough time. Anyone who has gone through infertility knows how your feeling... Birthdays, Holidays...its all so hard. I'm thinking about you ALL the time and keeping you in my prayers.

LOVE the shopping.. .now you have to model all of your outfits and blog about that! I need to come and go shopping with you!

Oh and jealous of the pool time.. we don't have a pool or anything however our new neighbors do, so hopefully we'll get to know them and hopefully they will allow us to dip our feet or sit next to the pool on occasion.

Hugs!

Amber said...

Awe Hun, I'm sorry things have been so rough. It's no good to be crying every night! First, I have to tell you, it's okay to take a blogging hiatus (just don't disappear on us!). You have to know though, that its okay not to write about infertility. Tell us about everything else, which I guess you did summarize here... You're niece is absolutely adorable. Or should I say Princess? Even though you hate your birthday, I hope you and Nick were able to at least celebrate a little bit. It might be tough, but you have so many people in your life who absolutely celebrate YOU being in THEIR life! And now, best wishes for your best cycle yet. I will be praying for you that between the last one and this one you are going to get that baby!

 
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