Sunday, January 26, 2014

Babies Bump and 14 Week Update

As I'm here to document and write about my 14th week of pregnancy, I have to pinch myself.  I can't believe that I am so lucky to be on this side... to have somehow escaped the absolute horror of infertility.  This weekend I read and received some really sad news from some of my favorite blog friends.  Their news has paralyzed me.  Infertility is so unfair.  I've mentioned before how, now that I'm pregnant, I feel out of place in a way.  I know the feelings that infertility causes: the hurt, the pain, the sadness, the depression... But now... I don't know.  I guess now, I just feel like I'm different.  I'm not going through infertility anymore, praise God, but those feelings are still so very raw.  My heart is so filled with joy and thanks for the two amazing gifts I've been given.  But, my heart is also so flooded with sadness for my friends who are still enduring their brutal fight to make it through this beyond unfair part in their journey to mommy-hood.

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How far along?  14 weeks 3 days
Total weight gain?  Still, as of my last doctor's appointment, I'm up 4.5 lbs.  I'm not weighing myself at home, so my next weigh-in will be at my next doctor's appointment, which is on Tuesday.
Maternity clothes?  I'm still wearing leggings.  I've come to find that maternity tops are great for their length.  I wore a non-maternity dress this past week to a work meeting and also wore a pair of tights... I've never been so uncomfortable in my life!  Is there such a thing as maternity tights?!  I need to buy myself a pair... or three!
Stretch marks?  Not yet.  I've recently heard that Clarins lotion is better than cocoa butter.  That may be my next purchase.
Sleep:  I noticed that I have started waking in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.  The nights that I don't cause me to shoot straight up the second I wake up to make a run for it.... And then, it's tough to choose what to do first... vomit or pee!
Best moment this week:  Hearing super strong heartbeats on my Doppler!
Miss anything?  I'm still missing what it feels like to walk around without the feeling of vomit sitting in my throat.  But again, this is something that I still wouldn't trade for the world.
Movement:  I thought I felt something earlier this week... little flutters.  But, it absolutely could have just been gas or air bubbles from having just eaten.
Food cravings:  Still none.  I'm still longing for the day when I crave something healthy though!

Anything make you queasy or sick?  Most things make me feel sick.  The mere thought of chicken sends me into an oblivion.  I can't even continue with this thought...
GenderLOVE my BOYS!
Labor Signs:  None yet and I'm beyond grateful for that!
Symptoms:  Still nausea, linea nigra, some ligament pain on my left side in my hip/upper leg area and the nasal congestion.

Belly button in or out?  In.
Wedding rings on or off?  On when I'm out of the house, off when I'm in the house.
Looking forward to:  My next doctor's appointment on Tuesday!

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Babies Bump and 13 Week Update

**Before I start this post, I have to say that I can.not believe I'm sitting here typing this.  For years, I would read other 'bumpdate' posts and longed for the day when I could finally write my own.  Once I became pregnant, though, I didn't know how to document it - I couldn't imagine doing something like this, and I sort of still can't.  But the truth is, I know I will blink and my pregnancy will be over.  I don't want to forget this.  I want to be able to look back on my pregnancy and remember my ever-evolving body and the growth of my sweet boys.  I may never experience this again.  And so, that's my disclaimer.  Remember as you read, I can.not believe that this post is coming from ME!  And, most importantly, please skip these weekly posts if you haven't yet crossed the line from infertility to pregnancy and know that you are in my prayers.**


These super grainy iPhone pictures were the best we got out of about a million shots.  I can't seem to take a good bump picture.  I suppose it's par for the course, though, with how I'm feeling.  This is what nausea looks like!
How far along?  13 weeks 3 days
Total weight gain?  As of my last doctor's appointment, I'm up 4.5 lbs.  I'm not weighing myself at home, so my next weigh-in will be at my next doctor's appointment in two weeks.
Maternity clothes?  Not yet.  I have bought some.  And I've returned a lot of them.  I'm not loving maternity clothes.  I may live in leggings and tunics for the rest of my life.
Stretch marks?  Not yet.  Though, I know they're coming.  I just know my body.  Hopefully cocoa butter will help in proving me wrong.
Sleep:  I sleep well.  In fact, sleep is really my only craving.  It's the only time that I don't feel nauseous.  I have some pain on my left side in my hip/upper leg area when I sleep on that side.  It's only a dull pain and is totally tolerable.
Best moment this week:  Learning that my babies are BOYS!
Miss anything?  I miss waking up and going to sleep without nausea, but I wouldn't trade this for the world.  *even though the nausea really is unbearable some days.
Movement:  Not yet.
Food cravings:  Due to my nausea, I'm not really craving anything.  I'm just eating what I can keep down, which unfortunately, is anything and everything unhealthy.  I can't wait to feel better and crave salads, fruits and vegetables.
Anything make you queasy or sick?  Everything and nothing in particular.
GenderLOVE my BOYS!
Labor Signs:  None.
Symptoms:  Nausea, nausea, nausea.  And that left hip/upper leg pain while sleeping.  Oh and I have the line.  The linea nigra.  That appeared really quickly once I learned I was pregnant.  I also have had congestion from the very beginning as well - blowing my nose in the morning is... well... interesting.
Belly button in or out?  In.
Wedding rings on or off?  I normally have them off if I'm home, but I put them on if I go out.  And that really has nothing to do with me being pregnant.  That's just something I've always done.
Looking forward to:  Everything!  But mostly I'm looking forward to hopefully feeling better very soon, and watching my little guys grow, grow, grow!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

An Update on Me and My Little Guys

Well, I'm 12w5d today.  I'm still nauseous and still pukey but I'm still beyond overjoyed at this amazing and miraculous blessing that has finally made its way into my life.  But, it has been, well... weird, though.  I'm still finding that there's a fine line between going from infertility to 'hello world, I'm pregnant!'.  I feel a little stuck, almost as if I'm not really sure of my place or where I fall anymore. 

Transitioning care from an RE to an OB has nearly rocked my world.  What do you mean I can eat chocolate and have a cup of decaf coffee if I want?  I can really exercise?  Take a not-too-hot bath?  What?!  I feel like that's not possible, not for me.  I feel like shaking my OB and saying don't you know what I had to go through to get here?!  Of course she does.  She's read my file.  We've talked.  She knows and understands, but she also says that's in the past and according to her, I'm a normal person carrying twins now.  Gulp.

Transitioning care from an RE to an OB has also been... sad.  Don't get me wrong, I would thank my lucky stars if I never, ever have to step foot in an RE's office again.  I mean, this was my goal all along.  But, CCRM... Wow.  I just love every single person there who has become a part of my journey.  From the receptionists to the phlebotomists and from my genius doctor to my nurse, who is like an angel to me, I couldn't have asked for better care during such a depressing, sad and scary time in my life.  Today, as I spoke with my nurse for the last time, and as she congratulated me on my official graduation from CCRM to my OB's practice, I had a little lump in my throat.  How did I get here?  Me?!  I'm pregnant with two babies.  Is this real life?!  It can't be!  I'm dreaming...

But it is real life, I am living my dream and I am really trying to enjoy this.  Even the multiple trips to the bathroom while I'm hugging the toilet.  It's something that I may never experience again.  It's something that I fought so hard for.  Something that I pray every night will bless my friends who are still in the midst of all of the heartache and pain that infertility causes.

And do you want to know something that made this all that much more real today?  My babies... well... they are:

My heart swells thinking of trucks and planes and sports and all things boy!  I love my little guys oh so much already and am so, so, so incredibly blessed with these two sweet little miracles. 
CCRM was able to tell me the genders based on our CCS genetic testing results.
Baby A - 12 wks

Baby B - 12 wks

P.S. Belle is thrilled that she will still be our little Princess!
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